


Second Chance

by Phantomwolfx



Category: TMNT (2007), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Multiple Universes Colliding, Other, Second Chances, Suicide, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-05-18 22:46:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19344217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phantomwolfx/pseuds/Phantomwolfx
Summary: What happens when Raphael ends it all - what happens if the spirit watching over him allows the hotheaded turtle a second chance at life. But there's a catch. And Raphael is willing to go through it all. Just to see his family again





	1. Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hey guys, this is a quick little story I've turned into a multi-story chapter that I had an idea for just last night when waking up from a dream. It began out of the notes app on my iPhone and just grew bigger from there. I'd also like to talk about the fact if you're suffering from suicidal thoughts. Know that you're not the only one going through this. Someone is always there to help you through this. Even I am - I'm willing to help you or even talk about what's going on in your life and help you find the light at the end of the tunnel. I hope you enjoy this story and know that there's more coming soon as this is a story I've taken deep thought into now, so know that it's one of my priority stories :) with that, please don't forget to comment and share!  
> Phantomwolfx

Nothing was wrong in his mind. There was nothing wrong with him in the first place - maybe apart from anger issues which he'd acknowledged long ago but that was far from what he was doing. Being just an hour past midnight. The red-bannered turtle walked into the kitchen, opening one of the draws and seeing a stainless steel silver butchers knife in which he'd grabbed and gripped with his three fingers. Mindlessly, almost as if he was under command, the turtle closed the draw before stopping and moving along the floor, his feet missing the dip up into the main lair which carried him over to the dojo

Moving the knife which was still on him - the turtle then opened the door in which concealed candles and just enough light to see around the area surrounding him. Closing the door behind him. The turtle then began to kneel down in the centre of the dojo. Looking around before blinking, looking at the knife and observing the shininess of its stainless steel design. It wasn't before long that he moved his hand fast enough to change the position of the knife so it was facing him. Looking at it for a couple of seconds, he aimed it at the upper centre of his chest, piercing through the strong yet connected piece of his shell, hearing a piercing crack go through his shell before he felt pain almost unimaginable that he'd never thought he'd ever feel.

Gasping in shock, Raphael looked at his current state - his eyes wide at his action that he'd carried out on himself. Completely automated and with no thought as to what he was really doing at any point whatsoever.

Panicked, he held the knife before extracting the blade out from his chest, blood beginning to cascade from his wound, indicating that he'd gotten quite a lot of major blood vessels, looking at the knife, he saw the dark red substance begins to drip from the knife, but that wasn't his most important priority. He felt weak and pained. But he wasn't able to move. Do anything. Dropping the knife, the turtle's vision began to feel blurry and quite dizzy - not being the usual headspin he'd get from getting hit roughly.

Having failed to try and get up. The red-bannered turtle now tries to scream out for help - but is unable to as he suddenly has no control over his body but to now fall on his side. Trying to fight the tiredness he feels, he eventually succumbs to it before his breathing becomes a lot more shallow before memories begin rushing through his mind, the ones he had of Leo, Mikey and Donnie, the times he'd hate his brothers. Nearly killing one on the rooftop. Before saving the one his mind had destined to kill before everything began going black. He knew what was happening - even if he tried to fight it. But sometimes the strongest of warriors fail

Looking around. Raphael stood up - looking down at the now small slit in his chest where he inserted the knife which fatally pierced his heart and his now still body, covered in blood. Raphael never had the desire to commit suicide - but he didn't know what the drive for this was though. Not once had the teenage turtle been more in regret then now

"Wh-What have I done?!" He said panicked. He'd watched plenty of shows that focus on people being ghosts. Maybe if he lies down and focuses really hard. He can get back into his body. "Th-This has to work" he added as his entity lied down and closed his eyes. Focusing hard on trying to rejoin his spirit into his body

It would be a solid minute before he gave up. Yelling in frustration in the fact that he thought it would be too late. "No goddamnit! I'm not going to let this happen!"

"Then why is it in the first place," A man said behind the Mutant turtle. Raphael - being scared and confused looked up at the spirt who looked like he'd been stuck here for a good while.

"I-I don't know. I just. Grabbed the knife and forced it into my shell. Before I realised what I was doing wrong and then it was too late. I was about to call out but-" the sound of the crack repeating through his mind just as he thought about it again.

"They say that every spirit gets a second chance at living unless it's too severe," The spirit said.

"I need one. For my brothers. I don't know how they'd react when they see this" Raphael said his hands shaking at the sudden actions of what he'd done set in.

"But child. I do. There's a catch to this second chance though"

"I'm ready to hear it. I'd do anything" Raph said his eyes softened as if he was in trouble

"You travel with me through alternative Universes and when that is over. You get transported ten minutes before the incident back into your body"

Piecing the puzzle together. Just ten minutes earlier. Raph felt like he'd had an out of body experience. But it was just a daydream to his brothers who didn't think anything of it but Raph being distant more than usual.

"What do these universes consist of?" Raphael asked as he got up off the ground. His jaw still clenched with fear

"Many things. Including other fates that your brothers have suffered. Including ones that have and could've happened"

"I think I know what the first one is then" Raphael murmured as his face in a doleful look

"Follow me, my son," The spirit said as he walked through the portal. Raphael following suit

As they walked through the portal. The outside world was now consistent with typical autumn weather. Leaves brushing along the earth soil being pushed along by the wind. The clouds a darkened grey to shower the earth with a much-needed element to thrive once more. Both spirits stood beside each other - Raphael looking up at the spirit before he nodded his head to make the turtle turn around.

His mouth was left agape as he saw the setting in front of him. The remaining three of his brothers. And his Sensei - standing over his grave.

"Go on. You can walk around. I know how long they were there for"

Walking around the grave. He saw that the grave was littered with flowers, photos and one of his sai lodged in the ground with his bandanna wrapped tightly around the red material that allowed grip on his sai - slowly flickering in the wind.

The sniffles emitted from the Turtles came from the Orange and Purple bannered Turtles. While there was a gap between them. The Blue bannered turtle sat by himself. Not tearing or sad in any way. Much like his father. Frustrated with what they had done wrong - what they could've done right instead.

"Let us go my sons" Master splinter stated softly as he slowly walked off with a sad look. Mikey and Donatello eventually following suit after a couple of minutes. Raphael looking at Mikey and knowing that he wasn't going to be able to handle life without knowing his brother he looked up to was always by his side.

Flustered by what he'd done he'd then turned around to see his older brother still there. Staying as still as a rock and facial expression unchanged.

"Leo?" Raph said as he looked at him. But Leo hasn't noticed anything and was still staring at his grave

"He'll get going down to the lake. That's when you'll be able to contact him"

"How do you-"

"Your brother meditates quite frequently. And I believe you should start doing so too" The spirit said before raising an eyebrow to him In which caused Raph to look slightly disappointed at the chances he had "Your mind is filled with regret, but you have a second chance - know that much."

"I understand," Raph said clenching his fists before looking down at the ground. And it was a heavy breath that caught his attention before he looked up to see Leo slowly getting up and looking at the grave once more before moving behind it and moving toward the lake.

"This is your chance within this universe to talk to him. I suggest you do so" the spirit said.

With the blue bannered turtle now having his legs crossed. He closed his eyes and focused on what was around him. The things he heard. Now meditating. Leo had now become a spirit himself. And it what he'd feel that would finally make him break.

Feeling arms around his shoulders - holding onto him. Raph was trying to make his brother know that he'd always be with him.

"Raph?" Leo said in a confused voice. Raph stood up and saw his older brothers spirit standing in front of him - not even taking a second look. The younger brother enveloped him in a hug, burying his face in the crook of his neck and trying to hold back the tears running down his face, soaking into his bandanna but not for long, did the blue bannered turtle feel drops falling onto his shoulder.

"Why?" Leo said in a low tone to try and comfort his younger brother - he knows that talking to him in his leader like tone wouldn't get a message across, Raphael had always thought he'd lost touch of what his calmed his brothers down. It was completely contradicted when Leo did exactly what calmed him down as a kid - even though it was rarely shown.

"I-I don't know what came over me, I just pushed it through my shell and- I- I tried to call out for help and-" he was interrupted by Leo putting a finger on his mouth to calm him down before hugging him once more, putting his head onto of Raph's to let him know he was safe, calm. But that was all washed away when he no longer felt his presence

"My Son! I felt your presence was troubled. Are you okay?" Master splinter asked as he looked over at Leonardo, who was smiling ever so slightly as he opened his eyes and turned his head to face his father

"I'm fine sensei" He replied getting up off from his position and looking fully at Master Splinter "I just needed some time to reassure myself, and. I'm fine now"

"I'm glad my son. Losing a member especially a brother we all cared for is quite difficult but you don't have to take all of the burdens. Know that we are all here for you - as a family".

"Thank you sensei," He said smiling before walking off, Master Splinter still being there - staring dead on at Raph

"Thank you, my son. Thank you for reassuring your brother - though you are hotheaded, you are very overprotective of your brothers. And I'm glad that hasn't changed" Master Splinter said nodding

"No Problem masta' Splinta'" Raphael said before the world went grey, furrowing his eyebrows, he looked down at the ground and breathed out "I've learned my lesson"

"As much as I know you have. You haven't learned about your own brother's paths yet. Even yours" The Spirit said.

"Mine?" Raphael replied as he raised one of his eyes in a questioning manner

"There's the one I will take you to after this one that explains everything," The spirit said as another white portal opened. "Now, in we go," The spirit said as Raphael started moving forward, his bandanna a darker red around the lower part of his eyes, evident that he'd been crying still.


	2. All Together At Once

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for the reads so far, I hope you guys are enjoying the story! There should be more coming soon!

The light glow of lights slowly filled Raphael’s eyesight as he tried to focus his squinting sight from the bright light the portal had once given off. With a few seconds of rubbing his eyes - Raphael’s mouth dropped as he looked around to see multiple portals glowing around him with moving images within them. Looking around there were ones that caught his eye like one from his brothers leaping over the rooftops in the middle of the night. Nothing seemed peculiar about from what was being shown, but when glancing over at one of the others. Raphael saw one of him with his brother standing around what look liked Leo’s body and Raphael looking remorseful. He didn’t even want to know what he did. And he knew whatever happened in that portal - he would never let happen. 

“So. These’sa portals thata’ all of me with different realities” Raphael spoke out looking around. 

“That would be correct. Anything that has happened past, present and even a future that you are unaware of. Have happened.”

“So- What you're trying to say to me is.” Raphael turned around to face the spirit. But was left empty-minded on what to say. 

“I understand you’re at a loss of words, it isn’t easy. And it never is for someone so confused So let me try and explain. Give me an event of something that happened and I can probably find it.”

His eyes glanced back and forth as he tried to think of something that happened in his mind. The turtle then looked down before nodding “I remember my younger brother and me fighting about what I do for the team. I was about to punch him but Masta’ Splinta’ interrupted.” His eyes then looked up as a portal glanced over him. It was like a replay of what happened that day was almost filmed on a camera hidden somewhere. 

Pointing at his brother Raphael went to make a snide remark toward his brothers' retaliation before he proceeded with his argument. It then went on for a few seconds before Raphael dismissed the theory made by his brother before murmuring something and raising his fist before punching his brothers square in the beak. The red-bannered turtle snuggly laughing before making a remark and walking away before the portal went grey. 

“There were way more different versions of how that happened. That was the one that would’ve happened had your father not stopped you.”

“So you're telling me. There are alternate realities for everything?” Raphael said as he looked saddened at what he’d done to Donatello had he’d proceeded to not be stopped by his Sensei. 

“Indeed. But Raphael” The turtle looked up at the spirit “Know this much. Though there might be different outcomes to every universe and action you do. You are in control of what happens. These merely play off what you have done with your actions. None of these has ever happened to you except for the version you, yourself have made. Including being stoped by your father.”

Without a nod or even an acknowledgment. Raphael just looked around “Am I able to have a look at some of the portals.”

“Yes. This is why I brought you in here in the first place”

As he breathed out he began walking, there were more then a couple of thousand different realities. All with different events happening, confusing the turtle as he tried to figure out where he’d seen them before and what had happened previously. But there was one that caught his eye.   
Looking to it he saw the all so familiar figure of Karai and Leonardo walking toward each other, the conversation that they were having between each other seemed to have been started by the blue bannered turtle in looked like what seemed to be a deal, tension in the air was obvious between the two of them - but Karai’s response was very oblique compared to Leo’s long, thought out one. Raising his eyebrow Raph looked at the situation cautiously, his stomach churning at his helplessness position. 

He would only see it in a blink of an eye but Karai swiftly moved up to Loe, putting an arm on his shoulder and whispering in his ear before moving her right arm around the side of him and holding it firmly, Leo yelping in shock from the actions of Karai before she stepped back. Walking a few meters only to look back at Leo and say her final remark as he slowly began falling to the ground in pain, blood pouring out of the wound in which still had the object embedded in Leo.

Raphael gritted his teeth as he looked on helplessly as he saw his brother slowly succumb to his death - probably not witnessed by his brothers until later where they’d notice he would be missing. 

“I understand you’re feeling quite helpless at what just happened,” The Spirit said. 

“What did happen?!” Raph said as turned around, his voice panicked. 

“Your brother made a deal with Karai a few months previous to keep what is known as the foot, off your back. And they did, until one night Leo was injured in a fight with one. Wanting to hold a meeting with Karai once more about the issue. He did - and then he was stabbed, you would’ve been able to save him. But she’d cut major arteries - and he bled out.”

“Just like I did” Raph looked helplessly at the now black and white frozen image. 

“You don’t have any words for what happened I know that much. But know that will never happen in your world. Karai and the foot went back to Japan shortly after the Winters ordeal” The Spirit said. 

“How do you know?” Raph said looking back to the spirit

“I have a look over the history of the spirit and look through the other major events other than the ones you have made. Like the time you decided to take justice into your own hands and one night almost crossed paths with me” The Spirit replied with a smug grin. 

“The night I almost fell off my bike-”

“Getting away from that crew down in Brooklyn as the Nightwatcher yes. I know all about your history Raphael” 

“So it seems,” Raph said as he had a disappointed look on his face. 

“Why are you disappointed in your actions Raphael. Your actions are who make you who you are - they might put you in a dangerous position but sometimes you need to be put in that position to learn what to do. So don’t put your actions over your small mistakes. One that changes the people you love around you are the actions that are the big mistakes” The Spirit Said before moving the portal back to its original position “Come, my son. I believe you’ve seen enough of what this place has to offer” 

He nodded and followed the spirit, a bright white light blinded his eyes as he squinted and tried to see what was through the portal. 

“Raphael,” The Spirit said making the portal disappear “I want to ask you a question” Before proceeding to walk

“What kind of question?” The turtle replies as he follows the spirit

“A reflective one”

“One that makes me think about my actions?” 

“One that makes you think over your current situation”

“Oh boy” Raph murmured. 

“Don’t dread it, my child, it’s just merely a simple question that makes you think”

Raph sighed as he looked around, seeing a glimpse of Donatello being rescued from Winters Tower with Leonardo pulling him out.

“What brother do you love more?” The Spirit said as he continued walking, pulling Raph out of his glancing state before continuing to walk with the Spirit. 

“What kinda question is that? I love ‘em all”

“But it’s evident with your history that it states otherwise”

“English please”

“The fight with your brothers Donatello and Leonardo, pushing them to the extremes and consistently breaking them. It leads a person to believe otherwise.”

“But that’s what makes us a team - Mikey’s an absolute idiot somedays but we all love him, and though he’s a jokester, sometimes he lightens the mood. But that’s a rarity”

“Are you sure of that?”

“All right, I enjoy a majority of his jokes”

“But you push it off-”

“As if I didn’t enjoy it. Yeah” 

“What about Donatello?” 

“I don’t see much of him. And when he is, he’s always stuck in one of his experiments or somethin’”. 

“Then why not ask what he’s doing?” 

“Because I feel as if I’m bothering him.” 

“That can always be changed around. Sometimes when the least unexpected people take an interest. It sparks inspiration into them.”

Opening the portal back up, Raph moved his hands in front of his face to cover the blinding beams of light spewing from the portal

“Onward we go child” The spirit spoke. 

“What about the question you were asking”

“All of the answers are in this world. I assume you’ll remember what happened this fate filled night”

“Faithful?”

“Fate full. Please, child, hop in”

After the turtle gave a weird look toward the spirit. He sighed gruffly before moving through the white gate, the guiding spirit following suit. 


	3. Red Eye Club

The rain began to pour down, slowly just as the turtle and the spirit stepped out. Raph squinting his eyes as he looked around, trying to see through the opaque fog-like wall that the rain had brought up on the rooftops. The only closest sign was the bright red lights over in the distance that spelled something "bulC eyE deR"

"Do you remember that night with that little guy who invaded the chef's kitchen" The Spirit calmly stated as he looked around, checking the time, 8:08 pm, two minutes before the incident happened.

"The Jersey Devil" He murmured before his eyes winded and his mind clicked at the spirit's statement. The rooftop of the Red Eye Club. The fight with Leo, almost killing him in a blind rage. He knew he'd have to relive what he didn't want to. For nights on end, the turtle would have nightmares about what happened, what could've happened. And what happened if Leo was gone - what would've happened to the band of brothers who needed all four of them just to function right.

"Yeah," Raph said simply as he put his head down.

The sound of grunting off in the distance got the turtles attention as he saw a figure in grey running to the end of the sign being chased by the only one person he'd know who would hunt him down. Leonardo.

Stopping before moving his head around, he heard the all too famous remarks his brother had made that night.

"I want you to know that I appreciate your intentions, but you can't change the world like this." The Grey figure stepping off as the overbearing tone of his brother's voice was damped by the now lighter rain.

"Are you kidding? He's lecturing me" Raph murmured as he saw the turtle walk around the grey figure.

"-So I'm gonna give you one chance to just walk away, and stop this vigilante nonsense."

"Time to teach you a lesson," Raph said as he watched helplessly as the figure grabbed out his kusarigama and began flinging them around.

Stating as if he'd done this all before Leo looked nothing but unintimidated as he held a hand out "Look, trust me when I tell ya. You don't want to do this."

The grey figure immediately went swinging as the spirits watched on - something that Raphael didn't need to see a second time over.

"It's funny how you can repeat the lines that you said that night, yet your brother never took in recognition that it was you."

"It's that obvious, huh?"

"Behaviour wise, yes," The Spirit said.

"Hey? Have you ever done this before?" Leo stated smugly as the Grey figure went tot take another swing at the turtle. "Aw c'mon, you call that an attack?!" Laughing at his dry response from the grey character.

The figure then looked confused for least of a few seconds as he turned around to see the figure still there. Looking like he was finally going to settle the finishing move. Only before the Grey figure dropped his weapon and got into a fighting stance, only to have the blue-bannered turtle roll his eye and reply in the same way.

"All right, finally, some excitement."

"How many different variants of this are there?" Raph said as he continued watching the fight

"Forty-Three" There was a pregnant silence between them as he then breathed out. "Only seven of them remain down a path of peace and good results between you two. But the one that I've shown you is the one that would've happened."

"Would've happened how-" The sound of metal clanging against the ground caught the turtles attention.

"Goodnight, Dark Prince" Leo rumbled as he walked closer and closer toward the vigilante - only getting up off the ground in which he'd been put down upon. The shock moving through the other turtle's body.

"Raph?! What?" The turtle said as he walked up before sliding across the roof with a kick from the other turtle.

"You are so smug, ya know dat?!" The words seemed to have grown louder in volume against Raph's ears as he watched the family that he had right before him, get torn apart by blind anger. "You think tha' world revolves around ya Dontcha'. That we couldn't possibly survive without the mighty and powerful Leonardo to guide us through our problems, huh? Well I gotta news flash for ya, we were doin' just fine without you" Raph expelled as he moved his beside his chest

"Oh? And this qualifies as just fine, dressing up like it's Halloween every night?! Risking the safety of our family?! C'mon, what were you thinking." With words stinging like salt on a deep cut wound all over again. With the dangerous brushes of death that he had while enforcing the safety of others.

"Don't push it, Leo. You can't leave home and come back expecting us to fall line again - like ya little soldiers". It was clear where the blind anger had come in through the sentence and venomously blinded the red-clad turtle.

"Hey! I was training, training to be a better leader. For you" Leo scoffed at the thought of his previous sentence as he wildly gestured "Why do you hate me for that?!"

"And who said I ever wanted to be led!" Raphael's voice boomed across the rooftops as the one perched upon the water tower looked down at his mistakes he was getting himself into. "I'm better calling my own shots, now get used to it!" The finger-pointing had all been, but an obvious clue as to how blinded the red-bannered turtle was but, how oblivious the blue one really was to it.

"You aren't ready! You're impatient and hot-tempered. And most importantly, I'm better than you." Leo stated as he let the venom ooze out of his voice. Had he been a victim of blind anger too?

A very short but witty laugh emitted from Raphael's lips as he walked around "Oh ya know something big brother. I'd have ta disagree with you, on that one."

"There's sometimes that I wish I could take this all back - and own up to mistakes and failures," Raph said as he looked away - feared that he'd be judged on his confessions.

"You're brother would've been disappointed that you decided to live a life of danger like this."

"Why do you keep saying that?!" Raph said obviously on the edge of having to see him relive his actions

"During the seven of the outcomes, you always take off your helmet. And it always takes a path of disappointment from Leo and a lecture about the same words of family and dressing up like it's Halloween every night. But there's one thing that it never shows apart from one universe." The sounds of clattering were heard in the background as Raph watched on between the power struggle.

"And that is?"

"You forgive each other for not being there for when you need each other the most."

The sounds of grunting broke the two out of their discussion as Leo was in a dazed situation about his now broken katanas before being kicked in the face by the metal boot of Raphael only to hear the sickening crunch of breaking bones and a loudly panting Red bannered turtle grit his teeth at what he'd done.

The reaction from both of them was almost simultaneous. One had a softened look about him with softened eyes, and one was overheard throwing up what would be the remnants of his dinner previous to what he'd been doing for the past four hours. A loud spluttering cough interrupting the air as the spirit looked on with a neutral tone. He'd seen this too many times to ever be in the position that the turtle was in now.

"L-Leo," Raph said as he stepped back. Putting his hands to the side of his head in the realisation of what his actions had just lead up to.

There was then a glimmer of a spirit arise from the ground of the now-dead turtle as he looked on at shock at the current state of what his brother had done. Looking back at his body, and then his brother. Who was now trembling in fear? What was he going to say when he came home - if he ever did that night?

"Raph - I...How?" He spoke as Raph jumped down from the water tower. "I didn't know you were capable of-"

"That's because I never was" Raph spoke as he saw the turtle turn around before looking at his other brother kneeling as he cried over the now cold body of his brother.

"But you-"

"I did. But where I aimed was beside you, never on you."

"What do you mean, you just killed me Raph!" Leo said in despair.

"Not where I'm from. I left you, standing on that rooftop to get taken by Winter's generals."

"Why would you do such a stupid thing like that?!" Leo exclaimed - his voice still sounding broken.

There was silence once again between them - only one of them look at the other brother.

"Because I was a coward." Raph murmured

"No!" Leo replied as Raph looked up at him, confused by his response

"Leo I-"

"Didn't know what to do because you never knew you were capable of hurting family. You were angry at me for leaving you behind for two years."

Raph's jaw dropped slightly as he squinted his eyes and looked for a reply.

"Master splinter had noticed the change in behaviour - Don had even told me that you'd changed ever since I left, I'm sorry I never wrote back those letters to you that you sent me."

He was still speechless about the previous comment, only letting out a huffed breath as he held back the stinging tears that his mind had suddenly incurred.

Nothing happened between the two of them before Leo walked up to the younger turtle, immediately having his chest crushed by a vice-like grip from the other turtle as he embraced him.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I should've come back home when I was told to."

He closed his eyes as he choked back the sobs- only letting the tears roll down his eyes and sink into the tightly knit fabric of his bandanna.

"Raphael" A booming voice emitted. Opening his eyes, he saw that his older brother was no longer there, except lying in an open pool of blood with a sai and a body onto of his now-dead older brother.

I never got to say how much you were missed. Instead, I showed you with my anger and hatred which filled the void you moved away from

"Yeah, coming" Raph replied as his voice croaked, seeing the white portal as the spirit walked through it.

Looking back at the body, he looked at the closed eyes of his brother's bloodied bandanna.

"Onisan, aishiteru."


End file.
